"Dearest diary, I thought I might find in you a sympathetic ear, for my sword is satisfied, yet I find myself in possession of a freshly procured quill and some vellum: spoils for this scholar (and scoundrel)."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 1.
"This ill-gotten take suits me far better than it did its previous owner, and the masterpiece I shall scribe with it will be a gift that the realm will not soon forget."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 2.
"Our latest raid was a rousing success. Our spoils-to-be were held by a handsomely dressed merchant and only two rather green guards."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 3.
"We brought down the guards with two swift arrows before they could even draw their swords."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 4.
"The merchant raised a rather expensive looking crossbow at Gundar, who was bearing down on him, greatsword raised. I saw to it that he'd never release the quarrel, sending a perfectly aimed arrow straight through the damn fool's hand, then another straight to his temple."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 5.
"Brigandry is bloody business, but I'd managed to end this fool's life with minimal mess. It's how we keep the merchandise in good enough shape to sell."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 6.
"This had been our first raid since we'd captured the wise old fellow we'd taken to calling the Boysen Alchemist."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 7.
"Our gang had become privy to a rumor that a prisoner was being taken to Camp Penitence, where the condemned were being turned into Marked Inquisitors."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 8.
"We'd gathered a few to our gang this way, but they were all soldiers and cutthroats. This was our first Alchemist."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 9.
"Our boss may seem a formidable fellow, but I can quite honestly attest that his wit far exceeds his martial prowess."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 10.
"And when he first realized that the prisoner we were about to spring was an Alchemist, the way his scarred and grizzled face lit up told me that there was incredible opportunity in this take."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 11.
"The Boysen Alchemist didn't really put up much of a fight, either. Most of our volunteers show some resistance to a life of brigrandry before they figure things out: once we've sprung them from their captors, they're outlaws."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 12.
"Even if we let them go, they're still just as dead as they come. But not the Boysen Alchemist. He simply nodded politely, listened when spoken to, did as he was told."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 13.
"During this raid, the boss was insistent that the Boysen Alchemist not participate."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 14.
"It wasn't an uplifting feeling to know that one amongst us is privileged with a security the rest of us have not known for seasons, but the boss surely has his reasons."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 15.
"And the Boysen Alchemist seemed pleased to discover some peculiar vials and corked bottles among the merchant's chests."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 16.
"The boss has been speaking quietly in his tent with the Boysen Alchemist for many nights now."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 17.
"He has made clear to us that they are working diligently for the benefit of the gang. I trust the boss, of course. The Boysen Alchemist has not yet earned my trust."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 18.
"The boss has revealed his latest scheme, and it is quite the masterpiece."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 19.
"His time spent alone with the Boysen Alchemist was a matter of gaining an intimate understanding of the craft's utility and limitations, such that it could be perfectly employed in a most lucrative heist."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 20.
"The prize is as many barrels as we could make off with of some strange arcane substance called Haze."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 21.
"It is housed in the west end of Nolland's-Name Keep, nestled between some barracks. Murik, ever the charmer, would gain the trust of a small detachment of troops traveling there, under the guise of a fellow soldier who'd gotten separated from his troop after an evening of such carousing that bards will sing of it for generations to come."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 22.
"Once Murik had drawn every last detail from his hapless hosts, he'd give a signal, and the rest of us would storm in and slaughter them."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 23.
"With Murik's preparations, three of us would don the slain soldiers' regalia and complete our journey to Nolland's-Name Keep."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 24.
"Three of us would quaff a thing prepared by the Boysen Alchemist that he calls his 'Illusionist's Draft': an elixir he claims will cause us to resemble mundane objects, like chairs or boxes."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 25.
"As long as we remain relatively still, the illusion will hold. If all goes according to plan, there will be three of us disguised as soldiers, and three of us on a wagon, assuming the illusory forms of stock and sundry."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 26.
"The rest would be awaiting in nearby woods, mounted and ready to ride."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 27.
"We would approach the gate, led by Murik. He would concoct a story to explain whatever discrepancies were apparent, and would make sure those of us on the wagon, assuming illusory forms, were led to the warehouse."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 28.
"Once inside the warehouse, those of us on the wagon would wait until nightfall, then shed our illusions, empty the wagon of any dead weight, and load it up with as many barrels of Haze as we could."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 29.
"Once we were good and ready to go, we would deploy a right cocktail of the Boysen's Alchemist's arsenal: two vials of Blastroar Decoction into the rear wall, toward escape, and a vial of Blastroar followed by a vial of Gutrot Decoction at the door."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 30.
"Provided our eardrums survived the ordeal, we'd have cracked an easy exit out of Nolland's-Name Keep, covered by the guise of some noxious explosion at the other end, which the guards would be wise to stay clear of."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 31.
"We'd run the wagon toward the treeline as fast as we could, where the rest of our gang would intercept us with their mounts."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 32.
"Meanwhile, the three of us who donned the regalia of soldiers would slip off in the commotion, to rejoin in the woods."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 33.
"Quite the heist! And I only put it to vellum now because I can confidently confirm that we have successfully completed it, exactly as planned!"
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 34.
"Had I scribed this plan earlier, and had it fallen into the wrong hands, I would've been our gang's undoing."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 35.
"And while I certainly have intellectual shortcomings of which I am aware, even yours truly is not quite as dunderheaded as that."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 36.
"The Boysen Alchemist led us to possess what he insists is an impossibly valuable hoard of this stuff he calls Haze, though its nature remains a mystery to us. But the boss is eager to learn."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 37.
"And so, as we carry on in our standard fare of brigandry and such, we are continuously finding ourselves in the company of eccentric nobles: wealthy beyond measure, yet bored of all but the most dangerous and arcane esoterica."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 38.
"To say they have paid handsomely for this strange stuff, this Haze, is an understatement. The Boysen Alchemist keeps some for himself; an arrangement the boss has approved, in unusual fashion."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 39.
"Our fortune has changed dramatically since the Boysen Alchemist joined our gang, and it's not all for the better."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 40.
"We once lived from one thrilling raid to the next, still able to find joy in each others' company even when our bellies were growling and our clothes were threadbare."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 41.
"Now that we've discovered a world of unimaginably wealthy nobles and arcane commodities, it seems we have become creatures of insatiable hunger."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 42.
"The boss always was one of great resolve, but I fear the Boysen Alchemist has introduced a sort of wicked rot into our gang, a rot that we must all succumb to."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 43.
"We've engaged in three heists of this Haze now, and I swear each has gotten more brazen than the last."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 44.
"The boss' role has seemed to shrink, while that of the Boysen Alchemist only increases."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 45.
"We crossed some wretched threshold on the most recent heist: two of us were cut to shreds by one of the Boysen Alchemist's errant decoctions, and a third that was so stunned by the blast that he was easily captured by our foes."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 46.
"We've faced loss before, but we recognize it; we honor the fallen. But the Boysen Alchemist took these casualties with no remorse, no emotion at all."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 47.
"Our exploits were once tales of swashbuckling anti-heroics. Now I fear I have become some wicked puppeteer's thrall."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 48.
"The boss had already become increasingly withdrawn, and then the markings appeared. A grid of runes I could not read marked the boss' face."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 49.
"He offers no explanation. In fact, he offers no conversation."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 50.
"Our gang is wealthy, yet we have become captives of some strange evil, delivered to us by the Boysen Alchemist."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 51.
"Things have grown dire, and this shall be my final entry. The Boysen Alchemist has invited into his body a power that defies comprehension, a thing of warped and twisted otherworldly horrors."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 52.
"I swore the Inphyrean Chasm was a myth, until I saw the cracks emerge in the earth, the red flames roaring, the bright red scars of unspeakable glyphs etching themselves into the forest floor."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 53.
"I saw the monstrous creatures emerge: wolf-headed, insectoid-armed, tusk-mawed, breath like sulfur."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 54.
"The Boysen Alchemist has begun to change as well: he is taller, more slender; I swear he has somehow become hooved."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 55.
"Whatever strange metamorphosis is at play here chills me to the bone. I am lost, I am undone."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 56.
"Dearest diary, I shall bury you here, beneath my tent, far as I might get from the watchful eyes of those Inphyrean nightmares that have consumed me. May the gods have mercy on me."
- The Boysen Alchemist, l. 57.
Updated with complete entries for The Boysen Alchemist
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